Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
