she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
