my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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