In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
