Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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