God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
