My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
