Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
