We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
