Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
