I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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