Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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