we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
