i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
