i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
