oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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