Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
