He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
