Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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