Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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