I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
