Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
