I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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