Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
