i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
