She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
