Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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