imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
