Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
