he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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