dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
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He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
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You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We need to get me chipped asap