ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?