Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
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i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
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constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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