Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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