Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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