Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
