i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
