no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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