In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
