Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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