She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
