my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
should my penis look like a turkey
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
