The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
