I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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