Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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