shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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