let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
