im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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