it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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