I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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