At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
