did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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