Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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