Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
