come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
