You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you will always have a special place in my vag
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
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