I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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