I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
