You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
