just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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