I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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