have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
