Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
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she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
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I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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